im 21 today. today is the 1st time i have ever felt miserable on my bday. oh well. i reap wat i sowed. i pushed him away when i had him. i deserve this. i deserve everything. sch work is addin onto my stress too. lab reports. man. i can see myself fallin into depression bt well who cares.the 1st bday i didnt enjoy. d 1st bday in which i feel guilty i aint doin ne work. 1 day into 21 n i feel shitty. can predict more shitty days to come. somehow the fear of nt doin well in sch is always there. it isnt easy workin n studyin. im exhausted. i want a break. i also want to cry. oh well.big girls dont cry.