i need a GD psychiatrist.... there are a number of thoughts in my head and i find it damn weird... never had such strong feelings in me.
1) i really really miss being in love! yes, i find it odd... bt yes, i miss thnkin abt tt sum1 day in, day out... smiling thnkin of some memory, spending time with tt special sum1 and most importantly having an argument. somethng tt frenz cant help me in fillin in... wth...

2) i have this crazy urge to spend a day with a kid... hmm preferrably a toddler arnd 1... sumhow i miss jz holding a baby or a toddler close to me... drawing in their warmth n their smell.. they have this smell on em... tt jz makes u feel at peace. n giving em hugs n kisses... sum1 to pamper... n their cute chattering n actions... haiz.... i want a girl though.. haha... dunno why, bt i noe too many boys...

3) i envy usha coz she is in perth... where i wanna be.. meeting new ppl, having fun... i jz wanna clear my degree asap n move on... wanna gt some new challenges n yes badly, i wanna fall in love... like crazily in love. like how it was last yr...

yes im insane! sum1 please fix an appt with IMH for me... seriously need to seek some treatment!

an interesting essay i picked up titled what i am passionate about.

What I am passionate about

Sexual intercourse or sex as it is simply known as is the coitus between humans. Sex is a word that often draws giggles or looks of disgust from crowds but it is an act that I am really passionate, amazed and really hyped out about. Even though you will never know whether I have engaged myself in such an activity before, one has to realize and embrace the fact that sooner or later he or she will be involved in consummation. Sex is something that no one should be ashamed or afraid to talk about.

In fact, the general public has to realize that they too are all passionate about sex. Those people who detest and disagree are liars and shouldn’t be calling themselves human beings. Sex is a form of entertainment that overpowers other forms of entertainment purely because the feeling derived from it which is a combination of pain, pleasure and power is something no other form of activity can bring about. This passion is in every human being and it only takes them enlightenment for them to realize. Human beings cannot deny that they are not passionate about sex. Just one question for instance, how did you end up reading this essay? The only correct answer to this question is sex. It is because of sex that everyone is alive, so what is there to not be passionate about? The word passion itself suggests sex.

Sex is a powerful tool; it unites two different genders together physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It raises the level of mutual understanding between two individuals. Sex has also the ability to create life which cannot even be done in laboratories or totally destroy the life of a human being. Behold its power. Engaging in sexual intercourse allows for the unlimited interaction between two individuals including the exposure to genitals, which cannot be attained easily in mainstream society. Eventhough sex can be bought through prostitution, it does not compare to sex with the permission or mutual consent of a member of the opposite sex. As real sex cannot be bought with money and it produces a different feeling and its might and power cannot be compared to sex with a partner.

Sex is also a test of one’s capability. Besides putting a man’s manhood and a females feminity to the test, sex can also be full of surprises as a duration of a sexual intercourse ranges and it depends on one’s capability thus it raises anxiety and it also motivates participants to increase their endurance, at the same time enjoy and immerse themselves in other benefits that it produces.

In conclusion much of life is either based or derived from sex thus it is really important for people to realize this and pay more attention to their sex lives as life is short thus act intelligently! Sex is compulsory in the lives of human beings to satisfy their unlimited needs, but the million dollar question is are you ready for it?

im slpy.. :( i so love black nails.. thnk wanna do blood red next.... yest was sooo unplanned... bt i loved it... yasmin's wedding... then hangin out with faris, hafeez,fadzillah n su..nt how i envisioned my wkend to be.... bt better than nth... ended up talkin with faris than i ever did in 3 yrs of poly la... funny la... n he had to once again pop a random q... thnk we will still be frenz after we gt married... okie, i like bein with faris... he is funny... n his exaggeration is oh so cute... n no i aint attracted to him... jz find it amusing.. haha... n guess wt, we like the food frm the same store... haha... nt so bad... met din after a yr... faisal after a few mths... yasmin, after graduation... in her wedding garb... n yes it has started... slow dn ppl... dont rush to walk dn the aisle n say ur vows... still have lots more. enjoy the youth n the freedom. i am.

p. s: P.S I love u was sweet... yes, for the 1st time, a hollywood romance movie caught me... some tears did trickle dn... some part, the eyes welled up... n yes, without me knowin, i started cryin. now that's wt i call love... haiz... get me a guy who threw me off my feets like this... wait, i did.. jz didnt noe how to treasure him... oh well, no loss, life has moved on... wonderfully i add.

ola, another post in the same wk... aitez... doctor thnks perhaps i have a torn ligament.. i dunno... azmi said probable disc problems... i jz dont wanna noe... i jz want this crazy back pain to gt lost... apiz, so tell me when u wanna catch ps i love u okie? since we are both busy individuals, we need to plan. err started studyin... yes... done with assignment 5.... report 4, err i am lazy to find the heating thng... or rather shld start now since i aint in the mood to study... once i gt the answer for tt q n discussion, im done... yeay yeay!report 5, yt to start... will start the outline on monday n clear it by tuesday or wednesday.... need to pay fees tooo... sianz. anusha later! yeay! at last... sad tt deeps n ice cant make it.. bt nvm... nxt tym lor... nt like im gonna die kan? hopefully i dont... aitez outz.

another post, another wk later.... nth much to say, been bz with the reports and assignments... back suddenly hurt sooo much... i had to resort to painkillers... panadol extra didnt work so i had to go n self prescribe myself to diclofenac... haiz... sat, met up wid reeq,mzan n syamz. jumper was sooo dumb. then su, spent 120 @ espirit on a pair of jeans, no less... haiz. ben n jerry's... was gd.... then sunday was supposed to go out wid raja n he decided to postpone it to yest which inevitably gt cxcled... n su had to call me randomly n say she is headin out with faris... so met this 2 up... ana came alng a lot later... bumped in2 ishak. haha... sooo random... of all the ppl...


another 2 reports n 1 more assignment to go... started a lil there n here... exam in 2 wks... march 5th... gosh time is running fast... yasmin's weddin this sun. scary... faris asked me when is my turn n 4 awhile, my head just turned blank. i didnt noe watta say... it wasnt random bt sumthng tt i have never tt abt n will never too.... it is starting... a yr more n i thnk there will be more getting married. coz most of us will be 23 or 24... some older... seems like the right age for many to marry.compared to em, im nt even dating.. haha... such huge difference... perhaps tts why a blank draw in my head.

why do u have to be sooo sweet? why are u making it sooo hard for me? i dont want to get emotionally involved... that is the last thng we both need. n yt u make it so hard for me. dont ruin it baby... we dont need these emotions.

well this is damn long... aitez... shall jz summarize


sunday: okie, this day is meaningful to me... coz a very sweet soul called me at 1130pm to tell me that he has somethng for me n is waiting outside my hse... i got a tub of ice cream jz coz i told him i have been working on my lab report for the past 2 days.... so yeah we ended up talkin till midnight b4 i chased him off coz we both have sch!


monday: busy day... tchers decided to do the expt 4 when as per the plan, its for this wk startin tml. so rush there n here... prepared the reagents. after which, met with him again... this time far east.. had dinner with the nie folks... haha... tchers are also humans aitez.hung out will close to 10...


tuesday: normal day... no mood to work... damn fatigued... thus half a day... headed to the docs... gt a medical leave... skipped lab... went to the airport, sent usha off... headed to her place, had dinner there.... n tt was it... n yes, he cldnt come... coz it will invite unnecessary talk... sianz ar... ppl cant be frenz without inviting talk.


wed: half day... headed to kl... had cheap n nice dinner with uncle...


thursday: 1st day cny... hmm headed to mid valley... did some shoppin... hung out alot...

friday: 2nd day cny.... headed to sunway pyramid... window shopped.... headed to kl's chinatown... shopped again...

sat: bro's bday... headed to batu caves in the morn... after which headed to sungei wang plaza... hung out at starbucks... went to masjid india... jln2... had dinner n cut the cake... which is the best i have ever had... rich dark choc. sedap rabak.

sun: back here.... feel great to b back home... typin this out... starin at work piling up... haiz... back to life as a working adult... nytz

okie... i havent blogged for a wk... it didnt hit me to...k, endless lecture... 1st time, i felt tt chem was greek or rather i was smsing too much thus the complexity n etc etc... k i wont say its greek coz i vaguely uds some pts bt in btw smses will come, then i will be smsin n then he's onto the nxt pt n i missed the middle stuffs so its a big bolus... need to do online lecture for clarification. n read up. hmm i have a lab report due tuesday n NOBODY in the class has ne idea on how to do it... n the best, its FORMAL lab report... haiz... that is very time consuming...


another 2 assignments n 2 lab reports due after cny... 3 days.. which means i gotta brng my work to kl with me. sucks man... hols n still have to work on assignments or lab reports. plus online lectures to work on... haiz... maybe goin to kl is a bad idea. holidays will nt exist in my dictionary for sometime. coz i cant afford to take it. its no point takin hols when i have tons of school work to do.

k enough work... usha's farewell yest... im gonna miss her la... missin her now... haiz sucks i cant go to the airport... miss talkin to her n hearin her go ehhhh.... anita n magesh annae had to announce to the whole table tt i had a new bf.... wah kao... we are jz frenz la... n gosh, they are best friends for 18 yrs... well yeah he came n joined us bt too late, the fella was starvin n he didnt wanna eat... now i feel damn bad la... starved the poor guy... n we headed to sentosa... went to the the beach... walk walk.. talked... it was v nice... it was soooo cool last nyt... haha... aitez.. tt be all...outz