Dear taata,

its been 6 yrs at arnd 1021 0r 1022. miss u . feel ur loss in all the family gatherings. too bad i cant go to the cemetery today due to class. oh well u will understand right, taata? i hope ure proud of me. i graduated from poly and am in uni now just like how u wished. n i dont have asthma anymore too. *touch wood* n like u told me, i didnt have any boyfriends, okie only that 1 slip but other than that, i still dont nor do i have the interest to have 1. remember that u told me that always... to concentrate on my studies and not waste my time on guys.



i miss u so much taata. so much that i remember all this snippets and smile to myself coz it brings back those gd old day when sankeri was a small girl and u were alive, talking to me. i miss u and love u still to this date.


ur loving granddaughter,
sankeri

time check: 22/4/08


Exam: 2 days time


Chapters left. 9.5


Status: Surviving... =)

What Sivasankeri Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong. You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know. You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are very hyper. You never slow down, even when it's killing you. You're the type of person who can be a workaholic during the day... and still have the energy to party all night. Your energy is definitely a magnet for those around you. People are addicted to your vibe. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life. You are also a keeper of knowledge - meaning you don't spill secrets or spread gossip. People sometimes think you're snobby or aloof, but you're just too deep in thought to pay attention to them. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's" Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

tml is the 20th of april. a mth older, 4 mths left before i officially turn 22. a yr after i officially turn an adult under the law's and society's eye. 3 more odd mths or so since i have been officially single... for a yr... wtf... time is flying.


my brother is signing up for ns medical check up... he is turning into a man too. the 2 yrs transition period is coming up. feels funny. the way i thnk now has changed too. more adult like, more responsible. more serious. gone are the days when i looked for fun. i realize im turning into a workaholic. yes i complain that i hate the place im working at but tts coz of tt old geezer. nth else. other than tt, i enjoy having something to do to occupy my time. but of coz nt all the time.


fuck, i feel old. seriously. i miss home cooked food. i miss coming home to food, not the empty pots and pans now. a full thrust into responsibility will beckon on me soon. once i finish studying. hah. gosh... what happened to all those days of carefreeness? it just flew past.

reminiscing those days. all i noe is tt it has made me wt i am. thank u all for making me this way. from ravin to siva, to rafidah to raihan. n seyed, thank you for those snippets of encouragement. it helped me thru this wk. it really did.

kak masni is back tml.


time check: spa nxt monday


Exam: Nxt thursday



Time left: 8 days exclusive today


Status: Surviving.

Money makes the world go around. We slog our arses off for that paper, blinded by our pursuits for it, neglecting health, relationships and even at times compromising intergrity.


Is that piece of paper seriously worth all of it i wonder. Even my parents give an higher priority to that small piece of shit compared to my well-being. Their advice? multi vitamin pills.. period.


wtever for? wts the point in enriching the body with nutrients when its the brain and the heart that is screaming for the rest? i am exhausted. completely. my threshold has been reached. Literally my body has started its own revolt.


n yet i am hanging on for the much anticipated bonus that all civil servants look forward to in july. after all, i thnk i deserve that 1 mth or so pittance. It will be made full use for my studies. in perth. Yes, im hanging on till july. Not out of a wish. but i know if i quit before that, i will have people goin after me for the rest of my life for being stupid. God give me the strength. I beg of you.

saturday is ending so fast. gosh.. wkends shld be longer. ways nth beats having a meal with ur whole family. its just filling. n nth beats grocery shopping with ur family. i think i am getting soft. is that gd or bad?/

this is gonna be a full fledged rant... about some1 whom i noe. I shall name tt person B. this was the chat conversation for the past 3 days...

B: Hey
Me: Hey
B: How ure doin?
Me: surviving
Me: U?
B: im doin alryt...
B: sounds like sumthng i will say, nt u
B: why?
Me: Work.

wah lau, wt? im supposed to be always goin great issit? im optimistic too... bt nt till i noe im damn shittified n i go great. im nt delusional.


B: so wats gonna happen in july?
B: Hi
Me: Hey
Me: qutting my job
Me: Heading to perth
B: Oh.. okie
B: i knew u were going
B: but didnt think it was so soon
Me: well im onto my yr 2 already

and the conversation carried on... but i find it damn kpo la... why bother what happens to me in july? nobody asked... only him.. nt even hisyamuddin!


n today,

B: hey
B: so wts ur plan for saturday
Me: sch n goin out with my frenz later
Me: but considering coz i aint feeling so well
B: Sick?
Me: kinda.. throat and head hurts...
B: why?
B: u sound like u partied yest
Me: i dont drink till im drunk
Me: and i dont drink with friends, only family
B: okie
B: so u have an happening family?
Me: yes


conversations go on....

B: was that a swipe at me?
Me: Nah, if i wanna make a swipe at u, i do it directly
Me: not indirectly
B: haha...u quite brave ah
Me: what has tt gotta to do with braveness? i juz state my views
Me: if u can take it, gd
Me: if u cant take it, i cant do much
Me: unfortunately or fortunately, i am an highly opionated individual
B: thats unfortunate actually
B:but that means u can take care of urself
B: so fortunate for u.


.... i aint offended la... bt hehe, dunno why i just find the conversation we have a lil too personal...we arent tt close... n i dont thnk its wise we get closer now... coz B is attached... shit happens... n i dont wanna be involved. bt i enjoy the conversations... its cool... haha...

im fatigued. try setting up 4 labs on ur own... topping up arnd 72 bottles per lab on ur own... eh wait, its more than tt... carrying 5 to 6 liters of liquid. i salute ppl who have worked in the lab for 20 yrs.. i cant even do 6 mths without having this incessant urge to quit. the only thng tt is making me stay on till july is the bonus. after july, its hasta la vista baby... im outta tpjc. 3 more mths. n im goin thru hell now... my oso has to go thru a surgery. so i doubt she will be back for the spa trial which is the wk after. the spa is 2 wks frm this wk. hopefully she is back then... coz its exam wk.


my sister made me take time off today with her immensive stomach ache... when the parents rnt arnd, this has to happen. tgif... im grateful... if only it runs faster. im awaiting for may to come... eagerly...

its gonna be a yr since isz died in a mth's time. invitation for a gathering to head to his grave to pay respects are out. stuart is of coz the spearhead. aint so sure who else.. i thnk perhaps nabil.

my eldds dance partner. basket. it still hurts. it still draws tears. i danced with tt guy for a few mths. i acted with him. 1 of my fav jrs. 1 guy whom i respected n will always respect. a gem.

damn!

aitez. n an interesting email. a lil true perhaps?

n yes he is 'smart'. tts why us of a is heading to a recession...

i have added another author to my fav. michael crichton. i liked his books prey and disclosure. i realize nth gives me a better satisfaction than a gd thriller laced with tons of knowledgable stuffs such as technological or scientific or historical anecdotes. i also realize that i am bored with my job coz there is a lack of challenge or nethng new for me to learn. thus this explains why i feel like quittin.. bt with optimism, its april. another 3 more wks for exams which translates to 2 days off, another 4 wks for 30th april and 1st may off. so hold on...


and yes back to creighton... disclosure is abt sexual harrassment in an office. a superior on her subordinate... yes, u read right, its a woman. sadly, sexual harrassment affect men too. infact thngs like molest, rape, forced to have sex, bullying, threatening does happen with men too.. sadly nt alot do come forth due to the ego and there isnt much organization to prevent that too...


surprisingly the world still thnks tt women are oppressed. bt society is changing. there are men who do help out. the percentage might be small bt it is increasing with the generations. so time for a AMARE or sumthng like tt juz like AWARE for women? well i leave the rest for ppl to go n find for the bk. n yes there are men who do get ppo in singapore... like they say, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.. some women are really suspicious creatures. i salute those men who can tolerate being questioned as i detest it vehemently.


n it is a true story btw. so yes. the character in the story does win my support. yes, i do thnk some men are pitiable. why? they have to put up with insane, money digging creatures like women. there are arseholes too... bt there are bitches too... its a world of fairness i guess... oh and office politics do exist. we are just ignorant of it or rather i am acting ignorant of it as i dont wish to be embroiled in such situations.

newae 1 thought of mine, mcps are mcps due to their upbringal and women play an enormous portion in it thus its actually women who do make men the mcps. period.