im glad that u consider me as a friend as nothing makes me happier than to know that even though its impossible between us, we can n will be friends.


thank you for always being there my special friend. thank you for everything. n basically thank you for making me feel wat love is once again. =)

its past midnight on the 30th of may n im still awake. the small nap i had on the mrt due to exhaustion and the mini conversation laced with laughter with hisyam makes me wanna sit up. some silly and immature prank caller made me call hisyam and we started talking and talking. haha. i realize its been ages since i laughed like this or spent the time on the fone talking about nethng except for work. oh well...tts all for the minute post. nytz

*screams*



its days like this that i hate. got a test later. n yet i dunno watta study. holy god. the prev test was the same. issit a case of i know this so i dont have to study thoroughly, just beat the cobwebs' off the memories?*beat* beat*


i mean i noe how to do it... tts the difference btw chem n bio i guess... for chem, i really gotta make sure i noe it... bio, i know it. coz they cant really ask much questions! sian. got exams to study for on the june 7th and 13th. n im getting lazy to study. heh. so im glad the long break is coming. i deserve it. im exhausted.


changes scream and beckons me.
another path, another phase.
wonder what im gonna meet.

success or failure,
is stepping stone to the future
time heals almost all wounds
i need to give time, time

my wounds are healed
yet the memories do flood back
sometimes its easy to push it away,
sometimes it aint

i wait for the day when it is replaced
with gd ones
till then i bid my time.

oh well...

my wkend was lovely. a dnd on friday, a movie n dinner date with anusha and goin over to my rajini akka aka anita's hse on sunday. tamil's ppl mouth is BAD, ATROCIOUS! oh well. wtever la. what happens in vegas is a love story. 27 dresses another love story. nth impressive. i dunno... typical fairytale like story. something tt happens in books n stories.. nt life. oh well... love is strange n weird.


n strangely i miss being in love... waking up smiling as u recount the conversations u had. missing the person jz coz u havent seen or spoken to them in a day.sweet innit? i can go awwww... i swear. heh.this is the gd noes how manyth time i said i miss being in love. bt its the truth. all i need is the perfect guy to complete my perfect life. it is perfect i feel. even now. the guy is the bonus. heh. n i aint desperate. i can wait all i want for the correct 1... no rush. oh well tt ends this insanely insane entry.

The guide to make relationships last

ANNIVERSARIES
Always celebrate! Whether it’s the 1st or the 50th, each year together is a triumph.

APPRECIATION
Let each other know how much you appreciate each other. You may already know but hearing it from each other is always better.

BEST FRIENDS

Be best friends preferably before being boyfriend-girlfriend.
Take time to know each other so the relationship will be a deep one.
Tell each other about your crushes, dreams and problems.
Make sure he/she is your best friend before getting engaged.
The strong bond of friendship will help you both survive tough times.

BOND
Make it a point to spend time together often but leave room for each other. Also spend time alone with each other, so that at the end of the day you could both share your experiences. This way, you stay interesting with your partner.

CHANGING EACH OTHER
Don’t marry an as…le, j…. or a bi…. (an unsuitable person) You’ll never change each other.

COMPLIMENTS
Always compliment each other.
This will prevent feelings of resentment & thinking that one is being taken for granted.

DATE
Keep doings things that you both enjoy, do them together.
Make time & continue to date to keep the romance - look good, smell good to maintain physical attraction.

DIFFERENCES
Celebrate differences. Never force your ideologies down each other’s throat. Give up trying to turn your partner into you. Accept differences, appreciate them.

FIGHTS
Fight with the aim to resolve the issue. Don’t outdo each other.
The longer you extend the fight. The more chances that you’ll say something hurtful that you don’t really mean. As mad as you were with your partner, he/she is still the person who laughs at your jokes & thinks you’re hot.
Hear each other out, don’t dig up old issues. Choose your battles.
Make sure the fight will be worth it & that something will change in the relationship as a result of the fight.

FLAWS
Know that the perfect person does not exist.
Know that just as there are things that you love about him/her, there will be things that will make you go crazy. We are only human with our own flaws.

FUN
Have fun together! This means keeping the fun & spontaneity that was there in the early days. Allow yourselves to get silly - shower together, pee with the door open etc.
Being able to make each other laugh & see the lighter, crazier, absurd side is the best way to get through all the differences in personalities, adjustments in lifestyle & opposing viewpoints.

GOALS
Make sure you have similar goals.
It would be difficult to keep your bond intact if your views are complete opposite.

GRUDGES
Quit tabulating grudges. Let it off. Discuss it, then trash it, don’t recycle it.

KEEPING IT HOT
Keep it hot by travelling to diff. places together.
A new setting will do wonders. Always have skin contact - be it holding hands, a massage or just plain leg rubbing.

HONESTY
Don’t lie or hide things. The problem will only get bigger.

KNOW EACH OTHER
Learn each other’s interest. It really keeps the conversation flowing!

HUG
A hug can be far better more intimate than a kiss.

IDENTITY
Don’t lose your personality - that’s why he/she fell in love with you.
Have separate interest & activities to keep your individual, & to be able to contribute more to the relationship.

INDEPENDENCE
Having your own income means you’re the boss in your life.

IN-LAWS
Make rooms for the in-laws.

INTENTIONS
Wish each other well. Don’t wish each other worst.

ISSUES
Speak up about the awkward stuff now,like money & sex. The earlier, the better.

LISTEN
Listen, listen, listen. Hear each other out especially during arguments.

LOOK GOOD
Mind your appearance! Stay fit & healthy for each other.

LOVE
It all boils down to your love, chemistry & respect for each other.

MEMORIES
Remind each other of the old days. Do something that you used to do for each other before.
It may even be corny but it made you two together.
Experience new things together- from dining into a new restaurant to experiencing street food together to exploring to new places. It’s the little surprises that make great memories.

MIND READING
No matter how long you’ve been together, do not think that you can read each other’s mind.

NEEDS
Be good to yourself,then be good to your partner. That’s what love is all about. Think about your partner. Will it make him/her happy? Will she/he enjoy it? Consider each other’s feelings.
Be very attentive & sensitive to each other’s needs, physically & emotionally, that way your partner learns to do the same for you.
Never take your partner for granted.

PRIORITIES
If one says it’s important, then it is! Prioritize each other among other things!

SPACE
Give each other space. Have dates with your girlfriends, have your boy’s night out.
If you can’t trust each other with this, then don’t get married.

SORRY
Say sorry when you’re wrong.

SURPRISES
No matter how long you’ve known each other, be open to surprises, both good or bad.

TEAMWORK
Think for two & always work as a team.
Consult each other before making a decision because everything will always affect both of you.
Strengthen couple power.
In many ways, we have to decide based on what is best for the relationship in favour of our individual selves.

SUPPORT
Support each other’s dream. Be willing to follow your passions,
support your partner in his/her decisions & create new ones together.
Two heads are better than one.

TALK
Tell each other’s stories. Life goes by so fast & its easy to see how easily couple can grow apart.
Whenever something funny, scary, exciting or juicy happened to you or to someone you know, tell each other about it & have your partner do the same. Keep each other in the loop of life, even by email if you have to.

just sumthng i go online. heh.

Shankeri is officially serving her 1 month notice.... *throws confetti* yippeeeee.... i feel like running around and dancing . talkin about running around,man u won. i woke up and heard my brother singing glory glory man united and he was dressed in red too. in his jerseys... apparently he has a napfa test. i heard the lines being sung for 15 mins before he left. wah sian. why do i have a brother who has football in his blood n yet retires from the scene. bodoh!

talking abt serving the 1 mth notice. i have yt to get another job though. bt its okie.im confident i can get another job. im mega happy though... kilowatt smile now... n im dancing in my seat. heh. been ages since i felt this happy.hehe. cant wait to leave. i miss having a life. i miss smiling n breaking into laughters. i miss joking about and i miss ritz badly. heh. well not too far... need to go n pay them a visit. things have changed. bt i miss my mummy n ice and kak aud.

i wonder whether 10 yrs down the road,
u will remember gripping my hand
as everyone beckoned you.

i wonder whether 10 yr down the road,
will u remember any of this?

i wonder 10 yrs down the road,
will it still be the same?
The laughter, happiness and noise.

i wonder 10yrs down the road,
will i see a kid whom is my own?


season finale of gossip girl later. cant wait!

2 mugs of vodka mixed with bitter lime, 1 mug vodka,bitter lime and coke, 3 mugs of bourbon coke. i didnt noe i cld drink so much. surprised i did. looks like i have the gene alryt. afterall at the age of 1, we all were introduced to our 1st taste of alcohol.

i noe i was high. nt drunk. bt high. n the best. had to take a a quarter can of red bull and 1 whole cup of lime and the alcohol lvl still didnt go dn tt much. heh. too bad devi akka, kumar maama had to leave early. oh well. family occasions is where i drink. surprised my brother abstained though.had fun drinkin. gosh. sound like an alcoholic. scary.

my latest addiction. its my drug.

i have this addiction for smart arse ppl n scandalous stuffs.

this guy makes me have the bad boy crushes. . all i noe is tt this guy is the devil. like the current episode, when s refuses to tell the rest wts buggin her n b goes tt they aint all saints n each quotes 1 incident, he just goes 'im chuck bass'. heh. dig tt line. oh n i love his serious look. he just looks hot.

oh bt now i thnk this guy is lookin cute. n he is....

i have no idea why i do. bt yes he does. in the show tt is.








oh n my fav lady in this show is.....








she is free spirited, smart arsed n different. oh an a unique character in the show of the rich and famous.


season finale is this monday. gosh. dunno how im gonna survive. until then. xoxo.

being an individual whom is easily bored, i hate being bored. routines, i hate.


perhaps that's why im thnkin abt the past conversations i had with siva.. the only conclusion i can derive is that 1)im bored 2) i want some1's advice. okie, somehow that guy used to care tons abt me. thus i guess. or rather we connected well... too well. hmmph. still dont have that with anyone. sianz.


i miss talking... TALKING. like evrything under the sun and sky and the moon. argh. help. im stuck... i wanna quit but i dunno watta do after that. plus heading to australia. the cost seems like a bomb. the mature, wiser me tells i shldnt burden the parents with a massive bill but the dream in me tells me i MUST go. argh. i hate being stuck in such situations. omg.


i feel like goin back to customer svcs bt i feel i shld get some pharmaceutical or lab experience. bt screw it, i DONT WANT TO GO BACK TO A LAB THAT HAS ROUTINES! see the amount of confusion in me. no wonder i am finding for him. since sumhow he always gave me sane ideas that appealed to me. compared to the mixed opinions frm my parents. oh brother.

on happier note, i felt happy when i saw the seyed lookalike. no idea why. its like a smile just erupted on my face. n he really looks like u la seyed. i miss skipping. n dancing. it feels like ages that i have done both. though its jz tuesday i did. went back home to see pukar on. so dance la. i still miss dancing. like 2 whole hrs. maybe i shld do tt evryday to get rid of the fats on my butt. why issit i am cursed to have fats gathering there. it makes me feel like an african.



i miss tp food. feel like goin back sch. lepak kat batu. or kat concourse. i miss bitching sessions. i miss having so many things in my life. made me feel alive. wtf. i hate all these routines now.


oh happy bday gaya n farhan. heh. im slpy. thus the rambles. even i dunno wtf im typing.

i hate waking up at 6am and the 45 mins or so journey every morning.


i hate rushing to school after 5.30pm and being stuck there till 10pm and then rushing back home to just sleep.


i hate feeling tired day in day out.


i hate the fact that saturdays n sundays are days whick i look forward to stay at home as i am never at home during weekdays.


i hate the eyebags and dark rings that has seemed to be a resident under my eyes.


i hate the everyday cycle. it just seems neverending.


why didnt i feel this before? haiz.

desiderata. sumthng readable. sumthng i need to remind myself. money isnt evrythng on earth. happiness is. n i aint happy in tpjc. therefore im leaving. gonna tender end of this mth. by end of june, im outta here. now the desperation of finding for a job to occupy me. coz august to july, i have nth to do. no sch. unless i decide to learn driving. i shld. bt australia is more impt to me. so i rather learn it after i come back with my degree or learn it there. apparently its cheaper?


the lil devil/sister/granny/nag is seriously getting on my nerves. gosh, she is childish and i cant stand her moodswings. its fucking irritatin to me. i control the urge to slap her. i mean for goddamn sake, quit being sensitive la... juz coz sum1 scolds or critcizes u, u start crying or start throwing tantrums. this is life sweetie. shit gets thrown at u. face it. omg. n she sounds terribly indian la... so tamilachi. gross. why is my sister that way? haiz sian. actually im scared to go to australia now. before i noe it, she starts hanging with all those tamilans n then starts wearing all black and pricks up for no reason and does the all talk no action shit.


12 yrs old discussing abt bgr is sick la. when i was 12, i was more interested in the bible and dancing. bt i cant wait to go to australia too.. heh. my dream. my ambition. i have this fascination with the down under since young. i wanna work there too.. for a few yrs. then come back to sunny singapura. heh. love all these plans.

need to quit this job. desperately searching for another job. hopefully secure 1 soon. n its bye to being stuck in the lab. knew it was a bad idea for me to join this job. bt didnt have much of a choice then. gosh. july makes it a yr. gonna be here till the 30th of june. after which, with or without a job, im gonna give them the resignation letter and start serving the 1 mth notice.


i need to get out. serious time is out. cant stand all these stupid rules and no fun stuffs. rebel in me wanna rebel. outz