lets see, a nice bright moon yest too... bt yeah it wasnt a full moon... su n i got lovey dovey on d way home... singng all those love songs n break up songs frm secondary school days. in d mrt station too... haha... oh man... and yest lesson, i was totally lost... i was shagged,cold n yeah my brain died on me.. i was literally sittin there n wonderin wth he is talkin abt... i noe its organic cmpds and their studyin methods... i noe its nmr... bt wth, i dunno wth he was talkin abt...


called ritz like after such a long time... spoke to my mummy... i miss u mummy. i miss ritz ppl. danny, haha... d guy who really made my day alot... i dunno whether its coz of the looks or whether its just him... bt danny, though he flirted, i noe didnt have ne bad intentions... i miss stoppin by the checkpoint... standin inside there... haha... cant wait to go dn 1 of these days... to take a break... frm sch. nt to go inside the checkpoint bt to head to comms... sit with mummy, help to answer some calls... yes, i miss answering calls. i miss havin the right to curse like no1's biz... haha... n of coz i miss siva... wont 4gt that just like that will i? it is over but that doesnt mean we forget ppl that we love. *shrugs*


i doubt im goin to the tcher's day lunch... 1) im havin a terrible headache... 2) im shagged... i want a bed now... 3) i feel like vomitin... i cant eat... n my sister had to piss me off by hidin the veronica mars cd under the sofa... sometimes i wonder whether her brain is seriously up her arsehole instead of bein in the cranium. lotsa thngs happenin soon... lab, practice for bani's dance, more sch work... muggin for my own exams... organic chem labs in tpjc...oh man. gonna be more shagged. bt hey its worth it i... nethng that takes my mind off siva is good... though nt literally gd for my health n body. bt well i dont care. haha... serious case of trouble here.. bt why live ur life safely when it can be dangerous? n neway im still young... youth is on my side for now.. will worry abt how i look like when i turn 30 and am still single. and i doubt that will happen oso. haha.. outz.

ash is in a relationship.... hmm... many girls are gonna be heartbroken alryt... excludin this 1... well newae happy for him. and to the person whom my revelations abt some1 was, im sorrie... feelin damn shitty now... perhaps i shldnt have said nethng. no names disclosed. its our lil secret. dude, its hard bt slowly life will move on. im so sorrie abt it. aitez.


yest i went crazy over the moon... it was bright, beautiful and full... and furthermore a cool night... imagine fishermen's village,dinner,nice breeze and a walk arnd d beach with the moon behind u... now is tt romantic or wt? haha... well yeah snapped many fotos of d moon... seriously im crazy... bt hey aint my fault... gt su excited too... bt seriously last night was beautiful... n yest oso marked the 4th wk... sat marks like a mth... tts fast man. sch seems alryt now... stuffs that are kinda familiar... i thnk they are poly stuffs... no maths... just physics... which is alryt i guess...


1 last report due today. n im soooo behind songs... i need to dl tons of songs... ayo technology, i got it frm my mama n i thnk there are sooo many others... do it... okie... aitez goin back to oscillatin chemical reactions... outz.

my maternal side of the hse is a very cute bunch. startin with my grandmother to several cuzzins includin myself. @ times when we are absent minded, we tend to tell thngs wrngly. over the yrs, my mum has been doin it. since my sis has been born, i have been toleratin bein called gaya. my dad calls my sis shankeri. the other day, i was called mala... tts my aunt's name.


most prob when she calls to tell abt chores, it will be wrngly said. have u heard of gettin ur ldy out of ure refrigerator n puttin leftover food in the washing machine? yeah i gt tt... when im in d gd mood n d wtf mood... i will do the thnkin myself. when im in d wth mood, i will tell her wt nonsense ure talkin.... there was this once she called abt it... n spent arnd 2 mins talkin to me abt it... after which i lost my temper n asked her wth is it? wt it are u talkin abt? coz i cldnt figure it out... turns out its some document. jeez... well today's 1 is the best.

evrymorn, she wakes up to gt my 11 yr old sis ready for school... talk abt pampered. im sorrie i have been gettin ready for school alone since 9... my brother,4... yes, he is independent. n this morn, she told my sis to put her shoes n socks on n go back to bed. yeap, u read it right... go back to bed... i woke up late and was cursing mentally.. after i heard tt, i burst out in2 laughter and sat there laughin for the next 5 mins... watchin my mother glare @ me as she shuffled back to her room... while i sat there laughin which oso led my sister to laughter.... i dunno why bt once i start laughin, she must laugh too...


told that the brother n he chuckled. and smiled at the thought of it. well i wonder am i gonna turn out like my mum too? watchin my kids laugh at me coz of the absent minded rambling. i tried la... bt wth... put ur shoe n socks n on n hit the bed? tt takes the icing of the cake man. oh man... haha... thnkin of abt it now cracks me up n tt stupid sister of mine really tried to do it too til i screamed @ her to get the hell out of d hse b4 i kick her out. yeah... sorrie time of the mth... temper flares faster...


n i had d most weirdest dream 2 nights back... i dreamt that i had an unusually heavy period for a 1st day n i ended up stainin my sofa... while i was wondering abt the heavy flow, it came to me that i had juz given birth... n i thnk i did carry a newborn baby... after which, i woke up n went wtf was tt abt... 1) yes, its near mine bt hell i wasnt d least worried abt it 2) i dont have ne kids, never been pregnant b4, never had sex b4... unless im virgin mary and i aint... trust me... that dream is crap. bt it gt me wonderin... birth n menstruation... symbol of gettin rid of old worries and the birth of something new... yes i read in2 dreams... this dream caught me... coz it shocked me... i have never dreamt of bein a mother. its cool i guess... bein treated like a queen. oh well... tt ends my relatively long essay. adios.

lets see, i fnt updated this baby for some time. let's see... parents anniversary came,keburn's bday came, my bday party came. and lets see with the exception of sat, all i have been doin is workin on the reports. such a boring life i lead. n of coz i have been catchin veronica mars. i am damn touched coz of what seyed did. haha... dude, im honored. n yes i do have a cool family. if my grandma can check u out, then ure hot. haha... her standards are high for a 69 year old woman.


hmm had a talk with devi akka. what she said makes sense... wanted to talk more but of coz my controllin parents had to intervene. like as if she is gonna teach me bad stuffs. she is my cuzzin for god's sake. n an elder sister.magesh anna is always the best. n i realized im an aunt of 2. my god. im old. cousins rock. perhaps durin the nov hols, i can gt a chalet and then gt all the cuzzins to stay over. no parents,no grandma, no old folks above the age of 30. tt will be cool... we can have fun. oooo. n then invite all frenz... woo hoo... now tts wt i call a party... blast tons of songs... drink the night away.... go to och and the haunted hses and scare urself. woo hoo.... n tt will be a wild dream of mine. my parents, let me stay over @ some chalet? i doubt so. im a 21 yr old bein treated 12. yeah i came home preggie once and drunk stinkin of cigarette smoke. ooo... of coz im kiddin.


alright. i had fun. gd fun. next up, bavani's bday party. after which im gonna convince her to do some stuffs like hit a club. hey, its just a once in a lifetime thng. nah, i will work on usha.it sucks that its my 1st day sch so i cant help much on that day like nearin d evenin. unless i skip it. sucks. usha wanna dance... so lets see how it goes... i hope i can. oooo... nicey. aitez au revoir with long meanderin entry. im 21... like finally.

its either im stressed or pmsin... i dunno which. i am this close to givin up on the lab reports.they make me feel like an imbecile. i know the theory part, somehow i will try to score marks. gotta work my arse off... the mess in my love life has also added onto the stress. fuckin knew this will happen. this is what u gt for bein emo. oh man. well that is now out forever. its the so called part of movin on which i know i have a hard time doin. well serves my purpose too. i aint in the mood of goin thru the motions of meetin some1, gettin 2 noe, fallin for em and gettin informed that it aint mutual. emo aint gd.


i am this close to cryin my eyes out. very very close. forcin myself nt to. cryin isnt gonna gt d reports done. isnt gonna gt the stupid calculation and graphs done. and def aint gonna change the situation i am in now. oh well, @ least im feelin guilty for treatin him like shit. i should. i was a fickle minded bitch who hurt some1 with my fickleness and words. not something im proud of or glad i did. i dunno wtf i was thnkin bt damn im sorry for doin it. oh well. lemme go back to this damned calculations. they aint gonna gt done by emselves.

i miss you calling me deardear...


i miss you asking whether i have eaten



i miss your tellin me your hungry and askin me to feed you



i miss you telling that you miss me



i miss you telling that you love me



and yes, i miss you being there in my life



and all the misses will always be misses


nothing i will ever get back....

i have 3 lab reports due on the 28th. and another 1 comin up tml. 2 reports and an essay. nxt 1 is an essay too. talk abt stressed. the lab is gettin to my nerves. with the complicated maths jargon and calculation thrown in. wtf does chemistry gotta do with physics n shit?equilibrium n kinetics i understand but wtf, gas n thermodynamics? heat law? wtf haiz. i just realized yest that i am takin chem 2211 alone. medicinal chem. im gonna die alone. i forgot su doesnt have exemption for microbio and apparently i can get calculus exempted too coz of the high distinction for stats. should i do it? really thnkin of gettin outta sg. goin to perth to study. for a yr. nobody i know to disturb.when i told d folks, they told me to save up the moolah. oh wt d crap. like moolah is gonna come to me due to some bequeated wealth. oh money. the curse of all humanity.


my mum told me to save up money and go and do medicine. she is nuts balls. where am i gonna get nearly 400k frm? and the time. by the time, im done with this degree, i will be 24... medicine school will take me 5 to 7 yrs. so tt means i will come out when im 31.... actually aint such a bad idea... bt money... and then the bday thngie this sat. well im sorry i aint the least bothered but my priorities is for sch work not the fact i turn 21... yeah once in a lifetime thng n yada yada yada... bt damn, the degree is a once in a lifetime thngie... why do a mediocre job when u put in some effort n get a high distinction?so what if ure deprived of a personal life? its school. not work. and anyway the deprivation is alright to me... aint got my panties in a knot to get married or hitched.


so my priorities sucks...


well u thnk i give a damn? its my life. i live it the way i like it. u got a prob with it, u can hit the road. no1 is askin you to stay. oh, and chrysanthemum white tea rocks. rocks so much.