november is ending in 3 days time.... tomorrow im heading to my 1st show in esplanade for the yr.... after some time... somehow the soul is beseeching wisdom that differs from what i learn in school... its growling for books... my voracious appetite in reading is back... with vengeance.. getting lost in such fictional plots brings me out rejuvenated. my love for egypt is back... my love for learning is back... somehow im blessed. my brain is of course slowing down with age... bt that's a matter of time. i believe next yr, i shall be back to what it was before... sometimes the lack of rest gets to me.. weekends is the time i spend resting and learning more and more... i shall be going for yoga on sunday with noor..

the end of the yr is nearing... somehow optimism and happiness is coursing through my every vein.. i am leaving the burden of the year behind with 2009.. all the bad memories that i carry with me along with it too.. well this is my short entry.. perhaps the next should be the last few days of this yr, perhaps nt. when the mood strikes me, i shall spill....

ages since i updated... september is ending.... october is here... before i know it, its 2010... =)

the year i was looking forward to since 2007.. that bachelor's degree which i want... now it seems as the near seems to be around the corner, god has to make me screw up.. i failed my 1st science subject ever since primary school... chem 3305, the wrath of me is on u! because of u, i will have to graduate in 2011! for 1 stupid subject! im praying for a miracle... bt i know lady luck isnt shining on me....

other than tt, my future at work doesnt seem to be shining well too... seem to be having some problems too.... but hey, im not letting it bring me down.. hell no! i will smile and take it as it comes... afterall life isnt a box of chocolate.. its a bed of roses... there are the beautiful flowers and the ugly thorns.... oh well....

gossip girl is making me envious... they are starting off with college... orientations, dorms, meeting new friends. an experience that has eluded me... an experience i have been wanting since 13.... the chance to taste freedom with no parents breathing down my back... * wistful smile*

and i am envious of the relationship btw chuck and blair... sometimes it feels gd to have some1 whom just understands you fully... and when tt person is with u, u feel everthing is fine and will be fine... oh well, envious of that love they have, though fictional... its nt easy to have that understanding... and damn, i want that... badly....

end of july is arnd... gt the job in mom.. confused with wts next... as always... working on my feelings... its quite hard getting rid of tt feeling, tt want, tt dream... i know it isnt gonna happen... bt yt, im sad it isnt gonna happen... i might fail my 1st science subject... chem 3305...



work is goin on... spent 3 wks in bukit batok... learnt lots... back @ info...


today, i saw this thng on fb when i logged on at work...


Shankeri's August 2009 Predictions By Suzanne White
AUGUST 2009

LEO PREDICTIONS
Humans have a remarkable capacity to forget the ugly and remember the beautiful. That gift alone can be our salvation. Somehow, we all manage to retain the fond memories of a given circumstance and leave the painful ones to gather in the cracks of yesterday, no matter how onerous or impactful the memories. By this means we set ourselves up to repeat our mistakes. Leos will need to be cautious of this tendency in August. Perhaps an old flame who left you out to dry will be turning up on your doorstep begging for a second chance. Or maybe your own poor choice in action that previously caused turmoil in your life will be threatening to reappear in your current behavior (Adultery? Substance abuse? Law-breaking? Lying?). Whatever the temptation is, you must fight it. Dig up those bad memories of past repercussions and sit with them. You will realize that it's the wrong path to go down . This temptation is probably stemming from boredom. Stop and look around. You have more than a man or woman could ask for. Plug through this lull, and I promise you that you will be counting your blessings come September.


when i read thru this, all i had to laugh... wt poor choice in action? other than depressive thoughts and siva, i dont think i made any other poor choices... n i dont have any old flame... so its amusing... oh well.. tts all to update...

its almost a mth since i last updated... nth much to update... same old shit, diff day... surprisingly the weather corresponds to my bleak mood...

so im literally tearing my hair out of it roots... tml is the immuno test... the 2nd 1... n i have tons to memorize... n i mean TONS.... n evrything has to be memorized... i am still unwell.. my nose is blocked... i still have a cough... talk abt illustration....




im living my life as it comes.. its isnt me... bt im sick of being disappointed of not being able to establish my goals... im sick of knowing tt whether i have worked for is out of reach... even right now, i dont visualize myself as getting my degree... failing maths seems more like me... i dunno wt i want in my future... as long as it doesnt involve a marriage.. im fine... somehow the idea of belonging to a guy seems sickening... so yeah, hopefully the full time job gives me some aim, some direction... coz now im lost... i dunno wt i want in my future....

was dn with fever the past few days... felt like shit... never have i felt as lembih as a chicken. at last my fever went dn... 4 whole day... sickening shit... still have a bad cough... back n joints hurt too... stupid virus.

i was told i dont have a life... i should enjoy myself... can i tell i dunno how to enjoy myself... my life for now is studying n working.. tts all i thnk abt... how do i get the money for next mth to pay fees... tts all i worry abt... i guess i enjoyed myself too much in poly to thnk abt enjoying now.. its a price we pay.. n anyway wt enjoy once u start working? it all goes out of the drain.