heard that siva is with shalini ryt now... truthfully, i am very happy. coz they both are very compatible. always felt that way. it is for the best. afterall, aint it better to be with the fren who is there with u when u cried than to be with the person who hurt u... so yeap. well i dont hate him.. coz he didnt hurt me... i hurt him... so yeah im sure he will hate me forever... bt he has taught me alot of things... alot... and for that, im very thankful and i wont 4gt the special bond we shared for 6 mths.... for him, i rather he 4gts that i existed in his life... hatred wastes alot of energy. bt i wont 4gt wt he means to me and wt he has taught me... n yeah i will change. its jz too bad we cldnt end this amicably (the spelling?) . and yeah i miss him.. tons...aitez...


i thnk im comin dn with somethng severe... bronchitis or some lung infection... i know it isnt an asthma attack... bt having a dry cough... my throat hurts... and this pain is like when phlegm is starting to build up... breathing is kinda labored... plus im extra pale and tired... seriously i feel damn fatigued.... i feel damn weak... my appetite is damn fuckin bad... i cant eat... n im damn exhausted that no matter how long or early i go to bed, i still wake up feeling damn tired... nt energized... suhaila claims we are growin old... i say, its too spooky... to su, seriously thank u for being there with me... i seriously love you for tt... thanks for tolerating my tactlessness, my directness and my harshness and thanks for being so understanding. i sincerely appreciate it...


and this goes to siva too... thank you for everythng... for helpin me get over seyed, for encouraging me and for being a friend when i felt sooo lonely and for lovin me... for teaching me, its alryt to cry... and that i can trust some1 in my life. for bringing out the best in me... haha... and im really very sorry for the way i treated u... sincerely i am... haha... this is a case of u dont miss the water till the well runs dry. its too late to regret... bt im glad u were the 1st guy i was with. for me, ure the best and will always be the best. bt nt meant for me. i still love u... its all still there.. bt i noe this is for the best.. im jz gonna end up hurtin u over n over again... and ure gonna tolerate it coz u love me... this shldnt be the way... it shld never be the way. oh well.. i noe shalini will give u the hope and inspiration and love. she will. i have trust on her. haha... aitez outz.

6 hrs of lab is freakin tiring la.... didnt have lunch too... ended arnd 6.30+ and i didnt have time to complete the last part...so i have an impure compound over there... and we have pre labs for all the lab to discuss the mechanism... haiz... i hate pre-labs... wth... now i have two pre labs to work on... haha... n all the lab demonstrator and the lecturer in charge are frm nus... hmm... nt so bad... bt its damn tiring... my parents are plannin on gettin uncle to come dn nxt wk as shankaran has work and i have lab on friday nyt... n if he comes dn, haha... sit up nyt liao.. since he is arnd... haha... tell the parents we are goin jln jln den make him walk arnd with me.. haha... yeay! so nxt wkend, might have him arnd... n i cant wait... other than tt, i will love to have a massage now... my shoulders are all so strained... ouch! n my mother has 2 guys lined up for me... was tellin me earlier... n i tuned it out... bt damn curious to noe wt type of nonsensical guy she thnks will be compatible with me.... hmm... see how... it will be bad to those guys if i can only think abt siva when im with them... so time... hmm other than tt, nth... gotta start studyin... outz

alryt... 1st wk of october is comin to an end and left with another 3 odd wks or so... then nov n then my fav mth, dec... aitez, this past 1 wk is too freaky, practically evryday im bumpin in2 sum1 i noe.... yest saw tt biotech snr who was in chem 1104 with us in psb.... err i thnk some1 else bt i cant remember whom... hmm today bumped in2 farhan and nadia engine. wed was hally... err d other 2 days, cant remember... aitez goin on, might be goin to kl nxt wk to hang out with uncle durin hari raya... there is def somethng btw bani and tt siva guy.... too fishy oreadi coz she is gettin too paranoid... n apparently there was somethng in d rap too which i didnt catch thus knowin guys, its either he is interested in her or there is already an on-goin relationship... sooo... hmm... hehe... i love this... need to find contacts in nus to dig this out... she has aroused my curiousity...hehe...


i thnk its more of a 1 sided interest.... with him interested in her.... hmm... err oh n my brother gt the job in ritz... glad to noe tt im still a valuably respected member in ritz for @ least 1 dept... err tml is the killer 6 hrs lab... cant wait for hari raya... its either visitin or kl.... hmm... cant choose.... haiz... aitez out of this place... 12 to 6 stuck in sch... on a sat... sianz... n so bloody early la... wtf... cant even slp in... there goes my sat...

haha... im regrettin my foolish game yest... well siva told me to move on.... i dont want to accept it but i dont have a choice... haha... im never gonna 4gt the foolishness of mine yest... it really wasnt ego nor playin hard to get bt more of a cheeky game of mine... i mean he kept on tellin tt he noes what i want... n yet when i told him the feelings are fadin, he can believe it.. haiz... tt 1 is called knowin wt i want issit? yes im fickle minded n indecisive when it comes to him but i will def noe when i dont love him nemore n its nt now... infact im fallin even more deeper as the time has went by... i love him more than i did in the beginning.haiz... sucks la.... sometimes i guess my games are too wrng to play... haiz...


on a sad note, my fav paternal uncle and his wife have separated and waitin for court procedures to finalise the separation... 10 yrs of marriage... a love marriage furthermore... gone coz of a stupid argument... i guess gemini and leos really do argue over stupid things with the leo startin off... haha... haiz... it was the same in siva's and my case.... and on a happier note, he has decided to come down to singapore! okie... im seriously happy when i heard tt.... coz hehe, def he will support us... keke... so cant wait.... the fact that its really over btw siva n me is a lil hard to believe bt i guess i have to accept it soon... well cant wait for my uncle to come dn... really miss him... fnt seen him since last yr... he didnt even come down for my bday... i hope my uncle comin dn will help this blow ease a lil easier... coz he is the only uncle i will tell evry single thng to. haiz... outz..

gt it frm this website....http://world.doubutsu-uranai.com

You are Red Koala who is cheerful and happy person.
You are friendly to every one, but at the same time, you are a person who doesn't want to lose, and are strong person.
You also have a very emotional side, and can not turn down favors.
You act like a big sister to every body.
You are a type of person who takes things too seriously.
You can get heated up on something, yet can quickly lose interest.
You are very sensitive to trends, but have a tendency not being able to use that advantage.

You are very passionate and emotional person.
You have lots of likes and dislikes.
You tend to act on emotional spur than by reason, and can be very nervous.
You also worry great deal, and therefore sometimes end up not being able to exhibit your talent.

You have natural instinct, and are good negotiator.
You will say things in straight forward manner, and although you tend to be a rational person, people often misunderstand you as being selfish.
This is because your ideas cover too wide aspect, and do not know where to stop.

To use this unique talent, you should find someone who is wise enough to understand and realize you.

He will lead you and draw out your talent to its greatest.
You should always try to train mentally and physically.
If you can make use of your personal interest, you may find a side of yourself, you didn't realize before.
After marriage, you will keep the house secure for your husband, and at the same time keep your own career.


interestin innit? some part of it is true i guess... esp the character part... yeap, i hate to lose.. and yeah i gt heated up fast n lose interest fast too... the big sister part... err true i guess... i tend to nag at the ppl i care abt... n yeah i always look out for my fren... n yeah i dunno how to say no to some1 who asks for a favor... usually will end up doin it... so i am complicated... haha

What Actually Love Is

Why do we close our eyes

when we sleep?

When we cry?

When we imagine?

When we kiss?

This is because the most beautiful things in

the world are unseen.

We are all a little weird and life's a little weird

and when we find someone whose weirdness

is compatible with ours,

we join up with them and fall in

mutual weirdness and call it love.

There are things that we never want to let go of,

people we never want to leave behind,

but keep in mind that letting go isn't the end of the world,

it's the beginning of a new life.

Happiness lies for those who cry,

those who hurt,

those who have searched

and those who have tried.

For only they can appreciate the importance of the people

who have touched their lives.

A great love? It's when you shed tears

and still you care for him,

it's when he ignores you and

still you long for him.

It's when he begins to love another

and yet you still smile

and say I'm happy for you.

If love fails,

set yourself free,

let your heart spread its wings and fly again.

Remember you may find love and lose it,

but when love dies,

you never have to die with it.

The strongest people are not those who always win

but those who stand back up when they fall.
Somehow along the course of life,

you learn about yourself and realize

there should never be regrets,

only a lifelong appreciation of the choices you've made.

A true friend understands when you say, I forgot,

waits forever when you say, just a minute,

stays when you say leave me alone,

opens the door even before you knock and says can I come in?

Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive,

not how you listen but how you understand,

not what you see but how you feel,

and not how you let go but how you hold on.

It's more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly.

Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever.

In love, very rarely do we win

but when love is true,

even if you lose,

you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone

more than you love yourself.

There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone

not because that person has stopped loving us

but because we have found out

that they'd be happier if we let go.
It's best to wait for the one you want

than settle for one that's available.

Best to wait for the one you love than one

who is around.

Best to wait for the right one

because life is too short to waste on just someone.

Sometimes the one you love turns out to be the one

who hurts you the most,

and sometimes the friend who takes you into his arms

and cries when you cry

turns out to be the love you never knew you wanted.
If you really love someone never let go,

don't believe that letting go means that you love best,

instead fight for your love,

that's what true love is.

Laugh to your heart's content;

you cannot go

through life without it.

oct 1... 2 mths since it ended and 2 more mths to the end of the yr too... n i turn 22 nxt yr... *gasps* today oso is back to school.... start of sem 2.... with dr chia just like how sem 1 begun. err newae was chattin with din yest evening abt songs and then yeah we both agree tt hey there delilah is a sweet song... haha.. err well look @ d lyrics...


Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice
it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to

Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me


talk abt love and the promise of it...