i have painted my nails red. it reminds me of a bitch. bt hell who cares? another 5/4 days to the end of the year. im turning 23 next yr. wth. i feel old. i was just talking to 16 yr olds dis afternoon and gosh, i really wonder was i this naive back then? that everything in life is this smooth. haha... the world is gonna swallow them with a gargantous swallow.. before u noe it, ure sinking. hah. and what was very complimenting is that they can think im 18 or 19. wow, i feel honored. do i really look that young i wonder?

perhaps i painted my nails to remind myself that i dont need these feelings now. the last i need is a major attraction to anybody. unfortunately the heart is attracted. crap. i thought i was immune to this. honestly i feel like a secondary sch kid. pining to see her crush. happy when i see him. glad when he stops by and talks. n when he calls me siv, i feel like there is somethng clandestine goin on. the smiles, the winks. haha... holy god. n i tt im 22, all matured... gosh, this is how it was when i was a teenager! haha... so buzz off feelings... i dont need to get hurt again. i dont need to feel confused again. so perhaps its gd he didnt add me on msn. dont need to fall deeper.