yest, went out with d mugchicks n pugchicks... had fun talkin with faisal n a lil to faris. n i agree with faisal... bein with sum 1 older than u for a girl is better than bein with some1 ure age. hmm... alrytz... happened to read this blog of some1 i dunno... bt i can view myself in her shoes... if i dont choose the right guy or the guy my parents choose and i happen to jz end it off...


yeap def the blame will be thrown at me... comfortin words and solace is never something i can seek in this hse. haha... situation btw my dad n me is pretty much dependent on the mother... whom im sure hates my guts. imagine hearin the words 'because of u, both of us always argue'. ouch... im sorrie ar bt ur wife hates me... i cant do much... i can only try the best to stay out of ur hair. haha... sometimes i seriously wonder is she really my birth mother? am i an adopted kid or am i some relatives' daughter and they gave me to my parents and since it leads to confusion, they dont wanna tell me.


haha... my aunt treats me 100% better than she does la. they like bavani... n im sure now both of them are wishin that she was their daughter instead of me. i was damn surprised n hurt when my dad went if only u cld be a bit like bavani... the last person whom i expected to do that comparison... oh well... yeap she is the angel.. im d hopeless devil... haiz... gimme a reason on why i have to consider the family? just cause they have been givin me education,clothes, food and a shelter and a surname for all these time? i thnk i have done wt i can do... get them a gd name outside... they can go n talk to ppl outside and im sure u will hear them say a gd child. afterall the parents upbringal moulds ur character... ppl find me responsible, civics minded,smart,fillial...haha... so this is what fillial piety pays...


remind me never to consider the family nemore... evrythng i do, i have to thnk twice coz im a girl and an indian... n i have to fuckin worry abt some sort of family name... call me observant la, bt u go n blow it amongst ur own family with ur own big mouth... did i go and tell them abt siva? nopez... did i go n tell them abt my job n school? nopez... did i go n complain to them that u guys refuse to send me to study? nopez... i just told them im preparin the money myself to pay... i cant do nethng if ur mother scolds u for makin me sit @ home n do hsehold chores and workin in ritz carlton... u guys cldnt bloody wait for me to go n work wt... did i have a choice? n school, i didnt say i dont wanna go n study wt... u guys told me to arrange the money myself... how d fuck m i supposed to fuckin gt close to 200k? bank loans? when i dont work n i dont have a guarantor... of coz i need time... evry single fuckin time, i have to do things thnkin abt the stupid family name n the siblings... tell me 1 time i can do sumthng coz i want to... zilch... i cant hang out with nt ppl coz hey 'they arent smart as u'.. i cant hang with mly or muslim ppl coz ure afraid i will convert to 1...


even the guy i wanna be with, its like im committin some major sin... my fuckin life is controlled by these stupid stuffs and all coz im a girl... haha... fuck... i hate it... and i hate the both of u... i wish u werent my parents... i never thought this way... bt now i do... i wish u both arent my parents... i rather be born in a hse where i dont gt all these expensive gifts bt had parents who loved me n accepted me for what i am and are some1 i can turn to. evrythng i do, i can count on my friends, never u guys... so tell me what think abt the family? do u spare a thought abt me? do u see the more u guys push me, the more i move further? ure this close to losin me... too close...